kajalsen

Your bed..........hehehehehe

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a
remote post in the African desert.During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
The nervous sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know,there are 250 men here on the post and no women.
And sir, sometimes the men have 'urges'. That's why we
have the camel."
The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this,but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."
About a month later, the Captain starts having his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the
men do it?" "No, not really, sir ...They usually just ride the
camel into town where the girls are.

Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,
Bug-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants!
I'm about to tell you a story I've never heard before,
So pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
Admission is free, so pay at the door.

One fine day, in the middle of the night,
two, dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back, they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and saved the lives of the two dead boys.
If you don't believe my lies are true,
ask the blind man, he saw it too!

the children had all been photographed, and the teacher
was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Mary; she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Tom. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead

Shot him with a camera and developed the film before taking him out to dinner

Man : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Wife : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Man : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Wife : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?

Wife : Honey? What are you looking for?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour?
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.